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"(phone call)

PROF. PAYNE: Is it raining where you are?

MELINDA: Well, Professor Payne... No, it's the shower...

PROF.PAYNE: You know, it's too much information... Actually, it's not enough information...

MELINDA: Well, that's all you're getting!

PROF. PAYNE: You're cruel, but you knew that, didn't you?"

-"Dead to Rights" (Season 2, Episode 12)

Rocerus Golden-Feather

"PROF. PAYNE: Basically, it's a warning. It's a dark motif favored by the Incans, 'Back off or die' being the fundamental message."

-"Love Never Dies" (Season 2, Episode 1)

Out of Postcards 15:33, May 9, 2010 (UTC)

"PROF. PAYNE: Yeah, they're called aports. It's from the French word aporter, it means 'to bring.'

MELINDA: Bring what?

PROF. PAYNE: More of that perfume you're wearing, because seriously, it's making me bananas. Kidding. Unless I'm not...

-Melinda glares at him-

PROF. PAYNE: Ok, I'm kidding."

-"The Ghost Within" (Season 2, Episode 4)

Out of Postcards 05:06, May 29, 2010 (UTC)

"MELINDA: Can these aports move on their own?

PROF. PAYNE: Yeah, and cats can waterski.

MELINDA: Is that why they glow?

PROF. PAYNE: Cats don't glow!

MELINDA: Aports!

PROF. PAYNE: I know you're talking about aports! Why are you yelling?!

MELINDA: I'm not yelling.

PROF. PAYNE: I'm yelling, right? I make that mistake. I'm sorry, I tend to disassociate.

MELINDA: *sigh* That's an understatement."

-"The Ghost Within" (Season 2, Episode 4)

Out of Postcards 05:14, May 29, 2010 (UTC)

"*Books are flying off the bookshelf*

PROF. PAYNE: (To his dead wife)Wow, come on Kate is that the best you got!

  • Bookshelf falls and almost crushes him*

PROF. PAYNE: All right, getting better."

-"Deadbeat Dads" (Season 3, Episode 16)